Everyone has their own strategy for dealing with pain. Not The Pain, but pain in an immediate sense. Pain in a 3rd-lap-of-the-mile sense.
Everyone has their own way to deal with it. To focus your entire entity on forgetting how much you hurt in that moment.
Now, there are common ways people cope. Archetypes of coping, you could call them
1 LAP GIVE ME 1 LAP
Just 2 more minutes, please just two more minutes
Don't let him go. Don't you let him go. HANG ON
For your TEAMMATES, for your COACH, DO IT FOR THEM
I've tried all of these. They've all worked to various degrees. At least, enough to give me moderate success in the sport.
But for me, there's another way. One a little more cruel.
All of the foregoing ways to deal with the immediacy of pain assume that the pain will end if you just stick with it to the finish line. Just put yourself through it now, and when it's over you'll be better for it.
My high school often quoted the famous running motto - Pain is temporary, pride is forever
But I think the best way is to do the opposite.
I run as if the pain will never end.
Put a time goal down, and start running it. I'm going to run 5:48s for these 10 miles.
As the miles peel away, I make sure I am on pace. I give myself a little buffer, running a few 5:43-5:45s to give myself a few seconds if I slip up in future miles.
But mentally, I don't count mile 4 as being 6 miles from the finish, or even mile 9 as being 1 mile from the finish. I have before, and I've crumbled that way. Focusing on the end only reminds me how far I am from it.
I've come to assume that the run won't end, so when it does I'm pleasantly surprised while still not drained mentally from focusing on the end point.
These mental games have developed over the past 7 months as I've been running alone in the night, 90% of my runs lighted only by streetlamps and the soft glint of the moon.
When you can't physically see the endpoint, eventually it fades away mentally as well. And then you're in the moment, just running to run.
Why focus on the pain if it's going to be there forever? Might as well get used to it. Make it friendly.
I told you it was a bit cruel.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Adaption
I don't remember the last time I ran under 10 miles.
Well, let me qualify that. I've done workouts and tempo runs that have been shorter, obviously. But I haven't done a base run under 10 miles in god knows how long.
I remember doing 7mile runs with a teammate then tacking on a 2 mile loop at the end the rare times we ran together in DC.
But I'm back home in Seattle now for the next few weeks, and it looks like my winter holds many 64min runs in store before I head down to SoCal (For some reason, all of the 10 milers here have taken 64min & change).
I'm confident in my strength, I'm just going on 7months of training completely alone (save a few key workouts with a group in DC I'd meet with for workouts every other week), and that plays tricks on you.
I hit mile 6 on a hard 10miler. 5:41. I laugh as the thought occurs to me that all of this is to beat 2 athletes who finished ahead of me in conference last year. Fuck it, if I can run 3:50, then they're going to have to run 3:49 to beat me. And I don't think they can run 3:49.
The only break in my extended base monotony has been harder 10 mile runs (exciting, I know), 4 mile tempos, and the occasional ladder track workout.
There's nothing I want more right now than to lace up my spikes and get after track season. But, wiser heads always prevail and when talking to my coach, he reminded me that I still have 5 months until NCAAs.
sigh, A couple more months of this. It better pay off, this over-distance shit is fucking hard.
Who knew that the way to get better at distance running was by running longer distances?? Someone should have warned me when I was 16. But after that first time under 4:40, I was hooked.
And here I am, almost 5 years later. I wonder what I would say to myself on that cold day I shocked myself and ran 4:38.
Probably to quit.
But more likely, to train harder. I'm a bit of a sadist.
Well, let me qualify that. I've done workouts and tempo runs that have been shorter, obviously. But I haven't done a base run under 10 miles in god knows how long.
I remember doing 7mile runs with a teammate then tacking on a 2 mile loop at the end the rare times we ran together in DC.
But I'm back home in Seattle now for the next few weeks, and it looks like my winter holds many 64min runs in store before I head down to SoCal (For some reason, all of the 10 milers here have taken 64min & change).
I'm confident in my strength, I'm just going on 7months of training completely alone (save a few key workouts with a group in DC I'd meet with for workouts every other week), and that plays tricks on you.
I hit mile 6 on a hard 10miler. 5:41. I laugh as the thought occurs to me that all of this is to beat 2 athletes who finished ahead of me in conference last year. Fuck it, if I can run 3:50, then they're going to have to run 3:49 to beat me. And I don't think they can run 3:49.
The only break in my extended base monotony has been harder 10 mile runs (exciting, I know), 4 mile tempos, and the occasional ladder track workout.
There's nothing I want more right now than to lace up my spikes and get after track season. But, wiser heads always prevail and when talking to my coach, he reminded me that I still have 5 months until NCAAs.
sigh, A couple more months of this. It better pay off, this over-distance shit is fucking hard.
Who knew that the way to get better at distance running was by running longer distances?? Someone should have warned me when I was 16. But after that first time under 4:40, I was hooked.
And here I am, almost 5 years later. I wonder what I would say to myself on that cold day I shocked myself and ran 4:38.
Probably to quit.
But more likely, to train harder. I'm a bit of a sadist.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Fumbling My Chance
I stand in awe and dismay as the metro that is supposed to take me half an hour away to my race just goes right through the station without stopping. Every so often the metro cars will be 'no passenger' in DC, and it was just my stupid luck that it happened to be this one.
This train would have put my 2 blocks from the start line at 9:15am, a solid 45min before the start of the race. The next yellow line train that will take me to the same place won't come for another half an hour, and I can't wait that long. I grab the Green line, pop out about halfway between where I started and the course, and grab a cab.
Traffic traffic traffic traffic and suddenly I'm there. 9:50am. Shit.
I pay, run through the thousands of people waiting for the bathroom, into the gym, grab my bib number, and sprint to the starting line. 9:54am. I cut my warm up clothes off, throw my flats on, and briskly jog along, trying to warm up and pin my number on at the same time.
shit shit shit I don't have time to warm up! It's okay its a perfect day, just go with it the race is 5 miles you can work into it. Don't worry you'll be fine remember the plan
They have us stand at the line just before 10am, sing the national anthem, get some remarks from everyone and their god damn dog involved with the process. It's 10min past start time and they haven't let anyone move. Stupid race directors. I should've used this time to keep jogging, regardless of what they were saying.
As the gun goes I stretch out, light from having a couple recovery days but stiff from not warming up. I slide in behind a couple Kenyans and let them do the work. They're here to win money and are undoubtedly faster than I am, I just want a fast time.
The first mile is pancake flat. I don't see any mile marker but I see we've been running 6 min so it's well behind us. The road turns down softly, and I get left behind by a few guys as the group splits, leaving me and one other guy together.
I see the 2mile mark approaching. It's literally a guy with an orange vest standing on the side of the road waving a flag that says '2miles.' Ridiculous, I know. So ridiculous in fact that I don't check my watch until we're just past him by 10 meters or so. 9:59, maybe a few ticks faster at the 2mile.
The road continues downward and I'm in no mans land. I hit the turn around and I'm tightening up Jesus this is painful, stretch out you're slowing down stretch out
I turn and head back up the way I came and I'm dying a slow, slow death. My legs just will not respond to me. They're feeling the first two miles and I'm in a territory I haven't been in in over a year. I'm pushing back up, probably past 3 miles now. I don't know. I'm barely moving.
All I can think is that I should just drop out, I'm going to be nowhere near the time I want. But I know I'm not going to, I didn't train this hard to drop out of a race, regardless of how hard I'm tanking the 4th mile.
I lose track of where I am. Someone says there's half a mile to go. Someone else says there's a mile to go. Eventually the road flattens out and I see the finish, a long long way off.
I'm confused. There's race pain but my vision is getting blurry. This is new, it's like I'm wearing blinders. I try to wipe the sweat away but nothing happens. Slowly I can't see much of anything, all I can do is run and hope there's not a hole to rip my ankle off
I cross the line in 27low. 27:09? It doesn't matter. I absolutely blew up.
I lay on the grass as thousands of people stream across the line over the course of the next half hour. It's all just a swirl, the conversation in my head isn't one of anger, or disappointment, just sadness.
I'm sad I missed the opportunity to run well. I know I'm fit, I know I'm capable of far better, I just went out and tried to be a hero on my first race back. Dying a slow death is the most painful way to run, and lord that death march will haunt my legs for months to come.
I don't know how fit I am, but I'm fitter than that. I wonder what would have happened if I tried to run 25:30 or 25:50 instead of 24:50. Maybe I would have run faster, maybe I would've died just the same.
I sit here, 6 weeks away from heading back to school, 6 months away from conference championships and 7 months away from NCAAs. I don't know what to expect, but all I can do is train the best way I know how and hope for the best.
Hopefully I won't pull this shit again. All I can do is learn from it and move on, I suppose.
This train would have put my 2 blocks from the start line at 9:15am, a solid 45min before the start of the race. The next yellow line train that will take me to the same place won't come for another half an hour, and I can't wait that long. I grab the Green line, pop out about halfway between where I started and the course, and grab a cab.
Traffic traffic traffic traffic and suddenly I'm there. 9:50am. Shit.
I pay, run through the thousands of people waiting for the bathroom, into the gym, grab my bib number, and sprint to the starting line. 9:54am. I cut my warm up clothes off, throw my flats on, and briskly jog along, trying to warm up and pin my number on at the same time.
shit shit shit I don't have time to warm up! It's okay its a perfect day, just go with it the race is 5 miles you can work into it. Don't worry you'll be fine remember the plan
They have us stand at the line just before 10am, sing the national anthem, get some remarks from everyone and their god damn dog involved with the process. It's 10min past start time and they haven't let anyone move. Stupid race directors. I should've used this time to keep jogging, regardless of what they were saying.
As the gun goes I stretch out, light from having a couple recovery days but stiff from not warming up. I slide in behind a couple Kenyans and let them do the work. They're here to win money and are undoubtedly faster than I am, I just want a fast time.
The first mile is pancake flat. I don't see any mile marker but I see we've been running 6 min so it's well behind us. The road turns down softly, and I get left behind by a few guys as the group splits, leaving me and one other guy together.
I see the 2mile mark approaching. It's literally a guy with an orange vest standing on the side of the road waving a flag that says '2miles.' Ridiculous, I know. So ridiculous in fact that I don't check my watch until we're just past him by 10 meters or so. 9:59, maybe a few ticks faster at the 2mile.
The road continues downward and I'm in no mans land. I hit the turn around and I'm tightening up Jesus this is painful, stretch out you're slowing down stretch out
I turn and head back up the way I came and I'm dying a slow, slow death. My legs just will not respond to me. They're feeling the first two miles and I'm in a territory I haven't been in in over a year. I'm pushing back up, probably past 3 miles now. I don't know. I'm barely moving.
All I can think is that I should just drop out, I'm going to be nowhere near the time I want. But I know I'm not going to, I didn't train this hard to drop out of a race, regardless of how hard I'm tanking the 4th mile.
I lose track of where I am. Someone says there's half a mile to go. Someone else says there's a mile to go. Eventually the road flattens out and I see the finish, a long long way off.
I'm confused. There's race pain but my vision is getting blurry. This is new, it's like I'm wearing blinders. I try to wipe the sweat away but nothing happens. Slowly I can't see much of anything, all I can do is run and hope there's not a hole to rip my ankle off
I cross the line in 27low. 27:09? It doesn't matter. I absolutely blew up.
I lay on the grass as thousands of people stream across the line over the course of the next half hour. It's all just a swirl, the conversation in my head isn't one of anger, or disappointment, just sadness.
I'm sad I missed the opportunity to run well. I know I'm fit, I know I'm capable of far better, I just went out and tried to be a hero on my first race back. Dying a slow death is the most painful way to run, and lord that death march will haunt my legs for months to come.
I don't know how fit I am, but I'm fitter than that. I wonder what would have happened if I tried to run 25:30 or 25:50 instead of 24:50. Maybe I would have run faster, maybe I would've died just the same.
I sit here, 6 weeks away from heading back to school, 6 months away from conference championships and 7 months away from NCAAs. I don't know what to expect, but all I can do is train the best way I know how and hope for the best.
Hopefully I won't pull this shit again. All I can do is learn from it and move on, I suppose.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Rediscovering Racing
So the 5k didn't go like I thought or hoped it would, but it wasn't that bad of a showing.
The results list me as running 16:09, but the course was clearly long. I hit the miles at 4:55, 10:10(5:15), & 15:20(5:10) and sure as hell didn't run ~40 seconds for my last 0.102 miles. They had the finish further away than they had the start line so it would finish in a parking lot rather than on a narrow footpath. I cooled down by running the course again with my Garmin, and based on the 5k finish I saw and the difference in the length of the course, I hit 5k around 15:45-15:50, so that's what I'm taking away from this race as a time.
Neurotic tendencies aside, a few things of note from the day -
1 - Ran alone the whole time, 2nd place was something like 17:20
2 - Turns. There were three 180 degree turns, and about four or five 90 degree turns. There were really only two real spots where I could stretch out for over 400m. The picture I added gives credence to this, it basically snaked along this walkway the entire time. It was flat as I could've asked for, so no complaints there.
3 - Man, I forgot to race it in the middle. I got complacent with pace and didn't push as much as I should have. It felt super super short. It hurt at the end, but more of a tempo hurt than a real race. The most important aspect of racing well is really knowing how to push yourself, so that your time IS what you're capable of running, and not what you're capable of running using 85% of your energy.
With all of these excuses and analysis of the day in mind, I set out for my Sunday long run.
I clipped along easily, tight but not overly tired by any degree.
I ran 14.5 miles at 6:37 pace for my normal 'slow' run, and that tells me all I really need to know about the day -
That I didn't push it 100%, that even a pace just north of 5min feels hot, and that my base is fantastic.
By the time track rolls around I'll be itching to strap spikes on and go for a tear on the Track, even if I have to work my way down from 28sec 200s to do it.
Edit: Purdy puts 15:48 as equal to a 26:06, which I'm fine with effort wise. Hopefully when thanksgiving rolls around I can get my legs under me, work with competition, and bang out a real fast time.
Shout out to all my teammates who just got an At-Large bid for NCAAs XC!! You had me worried there for a second but I never doubted you. I'll be watching come next Saturday.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Questions on Questions
I don't really know how fit I am.
It's been months of lonely base work with a couple more to go. I've been putting in the miles and occasional workout and can feel myself getting stronger, but I don't really know exactly how much stronger. I haven't raced since the 4th of July.
On Saturday, I'm hopping in a local 5k, and on Thanksgiving I've got a very competitive 8k lined up. The 5k is more of a reintroduction to racing after nearly half a year without it, which will make the 8k a better metric a couple weeks later.
The thing is - I have no idea how fast I'm prepared to run.
Oh, I have a general sense. I've split 16:0x through 5k for 8k, so I assume I can run faster than that. I've been running 72/73s for 1k repeats fairly easily when I do it with other people, but 72/73 for a 5k is right around 15flat for a 5k. Am I that fit? The last (& only) time I ran that fast was when I ran a downhill rip off of a 5k.
What about 8k? How close can I get to 25:10? 25:00? 24:50? I honestly don't know.
And it's pretty exciting.
For someone who is constantly measuring themselves with test efforts year round, having a dry spell of this length is like having a fresh start.
And what could be better than that?
It's been months of lonely base work with a couple more to go. I've been putting in the miles and occasional workout and can feel myself getting stronger, but I don't really know exactly how much stronger. I haven't raced since the 4th of July.
On Saturday, I'm hopping in a local 5k, and on Thanksgiving I've got a very competitive 8k lined up. The 5k is more of a reintroduction to racing after nearly half a year without it, which will make the 8k a better metric a couple weeks later.
The thing is - I have no idea how fast I'm prepared to run.
Oh, I have a general sense. I've split 16:0x through 5k for 8k, so I assume I can run faster than that. I've been running 72/73s for 1k repeats fairly easily when I do it with other people, but 72/73 for a 5k is right around 15flat for a 5k. Am I that fit? The last (& only) time I ran that fast was when I ran a downhill rip off of a 5k.
What about 8k? How close can I get to 25:10? 25:00? 24:50? I honestly don't know.
And it's pretty exciting.
For someone who is constantly measuring themselves with test efforts year round, having a dry spell of this length is like having a fresh start.
And what could be better than that?
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
The Value of Rest
I woke up on Saturday morning and my legs were throbbing.
I had put in an average of 11 miles a day for the last 10 days and I had to take a day off. I went out and shuffle jogged around for 20min before coming back inside and spending most of the day doing recovery stuff.
I woke up on Sunday extremely hungover from Halloween parties the night before but physically feeling alright. I trotted out the door in the crisp fall air and just enjoyed the monotony. The thing is, I could tell I was moving faster than usual but I didn't care, it felt easy. Really really easy.
The miles peeled away without any over 6:50, and eventually I found myself done with the full 15 at 6:38 pace. I've run this sort of time before, but it's always because I'm running with faster people and am being pulled along relentlessly.
No so today, it just felt easy. So easy.
Skip to Monday night, an I'm headed out the door for my typical 10 mile base run. Again, I'm simply bouncing along, running at what I know is a solid base effort and I find the pace is pretty fast.
I'm at 2 miles in 11:51. Doesnt hurt, but then again it's only 2 miles. Understandable.
I'm at 5 miles in 29:50. Doesn't hurt at all. Okay now it's weird.
At 6 I'm still fine, and at 7 I start laughing, realizing that I'm going to run under 6min pace with no real hard effort at all.
59:38. Like walking.
Fuck I love running.
I had put in an average of 11 miles a day for the last 10 days and I had to take a day off. I went out and shuffle jogged around for 20min before coming back inside and spending most of the day doing recovery stuff.
I woke up on Sunday extremely hungover from Halloween parties the night before but physically feeling alright. I trotted out the door in the crisp fall air and just enjoyed the monotony. The thing is, I could tell I was moving faster than usual but I didn't care, it felt easy. Really really easy.
The miles peeled away without any over 6:50, and eventually I found myself done with the full 15 at 6:38 pace. I've run this sort of time before, but it's always because I'm running with faster people and am being pulled along relentlessly.
No so today, it just felt easy. So easy.
Skip to Monday night, an I'm headed out the door for my typical 10 mile base run. Again, I'm simply bouncing along, running at what I know is a solid base effort and I find the pace is pretty fast.
I'm at 2 miles in 11:51. Doesnt hurt, but then again it's only 2 miles. Understandable.
I'm at 5 miles in 29:50. Doesn't hurt at all. Okay now it's weird.
At 6 I'm still fine, and at 7 I start laughing, realizing that I'm going to run under 6min pace with no real hard effort at all.
59:38. Like walking.
Fuck I love running.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Night Wink
On Sunday, I was pushing up one of the only two big hills, 12 miles into my weekly 14 mile long run. I was feeling pretty good and light, but a hill always reminds you how long you have been running.
I started my run as the sun was setting, and by now darkness was virtually hugging the buildings.
I glance upwards in a grimace. It's a bad habit, like I am looking at the sky with annoyance for God giving me the ability to feel pain. The moment I look up, a bright green star streaks across the sky, stretching from Georgetown to Hyattsville
Now I'm not really a superstitious person, but damn that has to mean SOMEthing, right?
Well, even if it doesn't, I'll pretend it will. Placebos are almost as important as real medicine, anyway.
I started my run as the sun was setting, and by now darkness was virtually hugging the buildings.
I glance upwards in a grimace. It's a bad habit, like I am looking at the sky with annoyance for God giving me the ability to feel pain. The moment I look up, a bright green star streaks across the sky, stretching from Georgetown to Hyattsville
Now I'm not really a superstitious person, but damn that has to mean SOMEthing, right?
Well, even if it doesn't, I'll pretend it will. Placebos are almost as important as real medicine, anyway.
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