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Studying hours on hours for finals. 3:30. Going to get dark soon, should do my run now.

What is my run? 10 hard. Fuck I hate these. Grab wet shoes. Do the easiest 10 mile loop I know. 58:08. Felt like shit. Time is shit. Fuck I hate those.

Back in apartment. Laying face down on floor due to exhaustion. I really should vacuum this floor. Laugh at absurdity.

Get up, eat apple sauce for post workout glucose. Shower. Back to studying.

Elapsed time: 80 minutes.

XC Season and Moving On

I guess that not writing a post since I ended my summer training tells you how my XC season went.

But just in case let's break the suspense -- it went pretty shitty.

At the end of track (two posts ago), my coach and I came to a consensus that I tired myself out with new over-distance work and that the long fatigue + no speed work hurt my track season.

So, the plan this summer was to back off the miles a bit and do a little more quality to maintain house, but not too much to make me tired. "Let the work come build itself" was the final word on the issue.

So that's what I did, and I came into the season out of racing shape. Well, I shouldn't say that. I ran okay throughout the season. High-25's to mid-26's consistently. I had developed strength so that instead of popping one fast time off now and then, I could consistently run pretty well day in and day out.

But I hadn't given myself room to grow with my summer training like I had in years previously, and I missed a glorious opportunity to help my team to the next level, but they got there anyway, because they're the shit and stepped up when the time called for it.

I'm not really that mad about the way the season ended. I was at our conference championships and stepped in a hole, over-extended my heel, and strained my achilles around the 2mile mark. I'm not really that mad that this happened at the perfectly wrong part of the season, so that this little injury put me out for 2 weeks, and that I could only start training again the week of nationals, which coach decided (and I agree with him) that I wouldn't be ready in time to race on the national level as I had been on the cusp of our varsity team all season. I'm not really mad about all that unfortunate-ness.

I'm mad that the reason that happened is that I was already so tired at 2 miles trying to hang on to the top group that I couldn't pay enough fucking attention to see a hole and avoid it. That I had to, again, fight to stay on varsity for XC. That in every season that I've ever run, I've ran an absolute PR in nearly every event I do, and this season I didn't. That I was just weak. I didn't feel strong running any XC race this season except pre-nationals, which we won (it was really awesome), and even then I ran a mediocre time.

The team went on to NCAAs to get 11th, our best finish in school history with a stellar team SO close to 10th, but that's the impetus for the young guys I suppose. It should be, they have the talent but we'll see if they have the drive.

I don't think I overdid miles leading up to last track season, I think I handled it well actually. I'm pretty confident now that it was just a speed work issue. It has always taken me a pretty long time to get my speed under me, but when I do, I really do.

So, I cast that season aside and pulled out a fresh pad of paper, torn from yellow standard to write what is to be my optimal base phase work routine. I really really like it, and in this - my 8th year running competitively, I think it finally hits all my weaknesses perfectly.

Here it is:

Day 1 - off

Day 2 - AM 4ish mile tempo. Usually pretty flat and ~5:15/5:20 pace. Tough but not too hard. ~6 all
             told.
             PM Base. 7-8 miles

Day 3 - Base (recovery): 8-10 miles

Day 4 - Short Long run: 11-12 miles

Day 5 - AM speed (30s 200s w/ 1min rest, 45s 300s w/ 2min rest, or 60s 400s w/ 3min rest) building
             up to 400s after a few of these cycles. About 4 miles all told. +Plyos
             PM Base. 7-8 miles

Day 6 - Base (recovery) 8-10 miles

Day 7 - Base +Plyos. 8-10 miles

Day 8 - 10hard. Long tempo. Usually ~5:45-5:50 pace unless I feel pretty good or pretty shitty. Goal is to run in the 57's comfortably. I'm not too far away from that.

Day 9 - Base +Plyos. 8-10 miles

Day 10 - Long run. 13-15 miles

----

Why a 10 day cycle? Because it makes sense. 7 days it too short to get everything in there with the proper amount of rest to really get at the workouts. So we just kept adding days until the cycle ended, which was 10 days. It's a nice round number, so fuck it.

The plyos are a combination of power drills (jumps, hops, burpies, etc) and core work. There are 2 different sets that work different shit.

I've been on this for a few cycles now and I really like it. When I really get into ACTUALLY doing my 2nd runs instead of just making the cool downs a little long.....(hey, school is hard this time of year) then I'll really see the benefits.

I have strength, now I need to turn it into power. I don't want to come into this year running 4:00 with room to grow. I want to come in running 3:55 with room to grow. Going for broke. Do I want to be able to run 3:50 and go to nationals? Absolutely. But I also want to be able to close out a 3:56/7 race in 55 if I have to.

Hey, if I felt flat speed-wise running 4:00 closing in 59/60, when I'm strong and sharp....

I dont think it's out of the question. I guess I'll find out.

I'm gearing up for the end of running for a team and teammates and legacy and with a true, close-by support system. How I do here will give me an indication of what I can do beyond college out in the big bad world all my myself, and I'm pretty fucking excited.

Tip: Always stay pretty fucking excited.

Summer Summary

As I sit here, flying out of Chicago after spending my summer working in this new city I think about how mundane my running was these last three months. Don’t misunderstand me – mundane is not necessarily a bad thing. Talking with my coach going into summer training, he told me to use the time to do almost the same exact thing I did in DC and nothing more. I was wary at first; that grinding type of training had worn me down over the span of eight long months and left me flat for nearly all of track season. He assured me that during last track season and in the weeks off of running that followed it my body adapted, and that it would not feel nearly as difficult this time around.

So, that’s what I did. Throughout June and July I built up 60-65 mile weeks slowly, and in late July I transitioned to 70 mile weeks which I should hold through the end of this month, all in singles of base runs which I slowly push throughout. 8-9 mile runs starting at 6:30-40 with the last 4 miles at 6 minute pace once again became my standard run. However, as promised, I don’t feel as worn as I did not even half a year ago. Also, the soccer and dodgeball leagues that my friends and I joined in the city helped develop my posterior-anterior muscle sets along my IT on the outside and inner meniscus on the inside of my legs, which brought some of that salivating pop back into them.

As far as racing is concerned, I ran only two noteworthy efforts. On July 4^th, we ran our team 5k, which I ran in 15:58, battling with another kid before running away from him, only to be outkicked by someone else who had capitalized on our struggle. I think that coach has us run this race because it comes only after 3-4 weeks of running, and as any runner knows that first week to 10 days is useless training, so really only after just shy of 3 weeks of training. It is just enough base to be able to run a race and push yourself, but not enough to be considered fit in any sense of the word. I think that it is perhaps my weakest point during the year that I would consider myself in some semblance of shape, which I suppose is precisely the reason why we run the thing – to get a base reading on our ability.

A month later and a month stronger, we ran a 6 mile time trial which I clipped off in 31:56, just under 5:20 pace for the stretch. I ran it alone at 11pm on a rainy Tuesday, clipping the uninterrupted miles on a fairly flat bike path. The first three miles felt like nothing, and they gradually got more difficult as I approached the final stretch. Truth be told, while the converted time (~33:09 10k) is a better mark than the 5k from a month earlier, the effort was half hearted. I told myself that I would try to maintain under 5:20 pace and I think I limited myself in that goal, as I was solidly under pace going into the last mile and a half and contented myself in holding form instead of tapping deep into that extra gear.

Within 48 hours I begin my senior (and likely final, I never was as enthused about it compared to track) Cross Country campaign. I know I am fit, and this summer was an exercise in patience by direction. If there is any use for a coach for an overzealous distance runner, it is to be the coachman – pulling back the reigns with his a wider view of the valley, only to release them when the timing is right. I trust my coach wholeheartedly, and have no qualms following his word. We return a strong team, and I expect strong season. I guess we will see soon enough.

Last Race Salvation

I guess I should wrap up what happened, now that I've had time to reflect on it.

It started a few days after the league championships. I went in and talked to Coach, wondering what the fuck happened this season. It wasn't fair, I had put in more work slowly and steadily, without injury, without making myself too sore, and I hadn't seen any rewards.

We looked over my training schedule. Upon closer inspection, we came to two conclusions. First, I was running my base runs far too fast. I thought that a little more quality rather than quantity would be a good thing, but I overdid it. I had a 77 mile week (from a Wednesday-Wednesday) where my average pace on the week was a blistering 6:14/mile. Average. I was running my normal runs around 6:10 pace, my hard runs around 5:45 pace, and my long runs around 6:40 pace. Even with the 7+min pace warm ups for workouts, it was just too much. While each run wasn't making me sore itself, the accumulation of all that tired, tired muscle was just too much on my body, and I wasn't responding to track workouts.

It was not like it hadn't helped. I was absolutely crushing the over-distance work, compared to myself previously. But the speed, though it wasn't that bad, wasn't fast. In fact, the times were as fast as I had ever run at the beginning of the season, first workout, first race, and I was excited. Look back a couple months and see, I really was excited.

But then I didn't get faster, and the workouts didn't get any easier (at the same pace), and I didn't get any more 'pop' in my legs.

The second thing we noticed was that I was doing the same thing, I.E. stimulating the same muscles over the past 8 months. I would do 10 mile base runs without fail, 1 workout of mile or 1k repeats, 1 10mile hard run, and a 14-16 mile long run. Repeat for 30 weeks. Sure, it makes you strong, but not the kind of strong that middle distance runners should be. Strong, but not powerful. And in the 1500m you need to be just that - powerful.

I was not overly excited going into what was likely my last race of the season. The times hadn't played out for me like I had thought it would, not even close. The wins were there, and that was fun, but I need the times to get to the next level.

So, we did what we thought I should have been doing, and rested. All week, I did nothing but 40min trots and ONE 6x200 @ 31s pace. Just resting.

As I toed the line for the last time, I was probably as unenthusiastic for a race as I had been in years. I just thought - fuck it, sit in and see what happens.

I was pulled through in 63, and then 2:05....and I felt fine. It was 3 seconds faster than I had gone through all season, and I felt just fine. Just sitting. With one lap to go I was at 2:52.low, and I still felt fine. Hit 1200m at 3:07.mid, and I just started sprinting. Sprinting and sprinting and sprinting, I wanted to run a good mark so bad. All of the memory of work and hopes and sweat and vomit came rushing back as I sprinted my legs out from under me. I sprinted too early, and was a walking dead man in the home straight. It was stupid, it was amateur, but I didn't care. I was being passed by people who had timed their move right, but I didn't care. I just willed my stone legs forward until I crossed the god damn line in 3:54 and it's not the time I had planned for the season but fuck it its finally vindicated what I put myself through and no matter what happens from here on out at least I can say that on one day I ran a 3:54.

Is that good enough for me? Of course it's not, I'm a runner. I'm not in it for the views and the lovely pace of trotting along, feeling great about myself for how in shape I am. I'm in it for the transformative pain that one can only learn about by putting themselves through it, without anyone else to tell them when or why. I ran a smart race with a dumb kick, and I'll learn from it.

And hey, if I start my season next year at 3:54 after what I've learned, I'll know what to look forward to.

Finals, 3rd Act.

Okay, NOW I'm nervous.

I don't know how the race will go, and it's unsettling.

I can win. I know I can win.

I don't really have much to say, it was a pretty uneventful final. Someone who had no business leading the race at all took it out in 62, and the field quickly strung out. My teammate Bennett, who had the fastest seed time by miles coming into the race, follows him. I try to go with the move but I'm boxed. By the time I'm out, he's far far around the bend.

It's alright, we're only 600m into the race. Lots of running to go.

Bennet extends his lead through 800m, as I lead the chase pack around the original leader, fighting the harsh winds on the backstretch. I'm more tired than I think.

Coming around with one lap to go, Bennett is way out in front, and I'm leading the chase pack that has been whittled down to 3 men. Having run the steeplechase the night before, I can see Bennett tying up. I start to move. I don't care about the two men hanging on my back.

I'm desperately closing the gap, step by step. Coming around the final bend I'm still over one second back. Yards closing between us become feet, then inches. I'm tying up. With 50m to go I realize that I'm not going to catch him. The two men following me are still on my shoulder, having matched every step thus far. Don't you fucking lose this spot.

I hold on for second. Freshman year, 5th. Last year, 3rd. This year, 2nd. But that doesn't tell the whole story. This year was far weaker. I ran slower than last year. I ran pretty similar to Freshman year. Prelims can explain some of that, but I wasn't really 'springy' for this race. I was right to worry, my speed hasn't come around like I'd like it too.

 I don't know if these last few weeks will see my months of toil pay off, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried. Maybe I'll try the 5k. We'll see. I have to do SOMETHING with this strength.

Prelims, year 3

I'm not even nervous at the line. Not even a little bit.

I know I should be, because you never know what's going to happen, but I'm just...not.

I don't think there's any way that I don't make the final. I expect it not to hurt, which is stupid. Unless you're world class, running in high 4:0x range isn't a cakewalk. It can sting.

68, 70. We're walking, which is dangerous.

You never know who can be there on a kick. Someone takes it hard with 500m to go. Fine, let him go. Top 4 make the final and I don't need to run a 60.

3 follow him. Damn, maybe I do need to go.

Cutting around the turn we really are moving. I'm trying to relax in 4th, but there are two on my shoulder. Kicking around the final bend, we finish up right at 4:10, with a 59/60 last lap. Yes, that stung. More importantly, I hope my foot holds up. Plantar fascistic has been biting for over a week now.

Tomorrow, Finals.

Stagnation

I don't really understand what's wrong with me. I opened the season in 4:00 and it looked promising, but I'm still running 4:00 and we're two weeks away from conference finals.

I'm definitely fitter, my workouts have been faster, and running 64s in a race have felt super easy as opposed to hard, but when the running really starts I don't have anything. Today, I felt like I was on cruise control through 800m. I took over at 600, feeling fine. A couple guys went around me with 400m to go and I was in perfect position...but nothing clicked. I went from jogging to tying up without anything in between.

Every 4:00 has felt easier and easier, and this one was at 11am so maybe that had something to do with it, but fuck this is getting really annoying. I feel like I should be running 3:54 or thereabouts, this is ridiculous.

I'm hoping in the small amount of time I have left that I'll bust a fast time, but I'm running out of races. I don't know if it's my speed or anaerobic threshold or what, but this season is not turning out like I had thought it would at the start.

There's still salvaging time, but not a whole lot. We'll see. God willing, I can pull off a conference title in the 1500. That's still definitely in the cards.

Nerves

Before my race this weekend, my body was periodically shot with nervous adrenaline as it is before every race.

Thinking about it, what am I nervous about? I feel almost sick. I've had races where I've been FAR too nervous, and it has affected me. After this long, I've gotten pretty good at keeping the nerves at the right level.

But, again, what are the nerves signifying?

It may seem obvious to some, but I had an epiphany of sorts on my warm up. I'm not afraid of the other runners, I'm not afraid I'll let my teammates down, I'm not afraid I'll embarrass myself out there. No, if those things affected me, I wouldn't be where I am.

I'm really afraid of myself.

That after the race, I'll see my time, and it wont be good enough. What if my best just...isn't good enough? It's something I can't accept. I guess that's why I train. Hard.

I didn't have the best race this weekend. I ran a stupid tactical race, making 2 big surges to put myself into position, and when the running started with 300m to go I got left behind, barely dipping under 4:00. I was boxed in, going through 800m just under 2:10. AGAIN.

I digress. What I'm really afraid of is hitting the race perfectly, not making any errors, running as hard as I can...and running a slow time.

I feel as if every race, I am afraid I am not as fit as I think I am, and race to prove that I am every bit as fit as I hope to be.

I still haven't found that race, every one thus far has been a kickers duel (or I was horribly sick). Maybe next week.

Remembering Sickness

Well, that went poorly.

I've been sick for two weeks now, and I've been trying to tell myself that I would be fine before this weekend. I warmed up coughing, I did strides coughing, and I was coughing 10 seconds before the gun went off.

Ya, I'll totally be fine.

The elite field assembled before me was hard enough without my sickness, and it was just embarrassing with it. As the gun went off the pack started jogging, as elite fields are want to do. I took the lead and went through with pedestrian splits of 63/2:07.


I felt awful. My body was shutting down after 200m and I was fighting every step of the way. I'm upset that the race went as poorly as it did, not because of any poor tactical error on my part but simply because I couldn't fucking breathe out there.

I'm upset that I waited so long for this opportunity and a few fucking bacteria made me run 4:21 (4:03 1500) in a race that was won in 4:10 (4:52 1500). I wanted to go to everyone running and watching after the race and say "guys guys, I was sick. I'm not really that bad."

But I cant.

I also cant be a whiney little bitch about it. It's done, in the past, and I have these hopefully-fantastic antibotics to help me get well. They're having SOME sort of effect, my heads a little wonked out as I write this.

Do your stuff azithromycin. Get me better so I can run like I know I can.

6 Months Waiting

Coming through in 66 for the first 400m of our quad meet 1500m, I feel like shit.

Just stay here and cover moves I think to myself as I sit in 3rd.

2:14. Feels fast and I'm worried. It shouldn't feel fast.

500m to go pace heats up, and with just over 400m to go it drops like a rock. I think we pass the 1200m mark in 3:16.

Way off 1st, in 2nd with 3rd on my shoulder. Somehow I run down the leader to win, 4:00.

I was tired, it hurt, it felt too hard for the opening pace, the splits were everywhere, but dammit I won.


That was 2 weeks ago. We get 3 or 4 chances to run a real fast time in a season, and tonight is one of them. Oxy distance carnival is one of the best meets, because its, well, all distance. It's at night, so it's perfect distance running weather here on the outskirts of LA.

Since that race a couple weeks ago, my speed has slowly come around. We didn't have a workout last week and we just hammered workouts. Kenyon runs, 12x400 with 1min rest in 63-64, a few 400s in 54, a race simulator of 150s, 400s, and 200s all smashed together.

It was a rough week, but this lazy spring break week leading up to tonight has been very easy.

And I'm very nervous.

It's the first chance to run a great time, and I've been thinking about it for 6 months. At least. Without cross country (because I was abroad in the fall), there was no other races to focus on. Just thousands of lonely miles thinking about races to come. Like this. Like tonight.

My seed time is faster than I have ever run by 4 seconds, and it's basically the last seed in the fastest heat. Oh, a couple sub4 milers and a World Championship qualifying 800m guy? 2 more DII All-Americans also? Why not.

It doesn't really matter, I'll go out and hold on for dear life.

I AM nervous though.

Really nervous.

I don't know what I'm capable of running, but I hope it's fast enough. I'm seeded to run a 3:54 (~4:11/4:12 mile equivalent).

Let's try to run that, shall we?

The early ups and downs

With 120m to go in an 800m, I sit in 3rd and I just can't go any faster.

This is ridiculous I'm not tired I just cant move my legs. Move MOVE...

nothing happens. Oh well, it's the second week of February and my speed is nowhere to be found. I run 1:59, a time slower than Freshman year, but one that I am far more at peace with than 2 years ago. I remember running 1:58 flat and throwing a shit fit.

The circumstances are different. Then, I had been doing speed leading into the season. Probably too early. Actually, definitely too early.

Now, I have been doing nothing but my staple 10 mile base runs, 4 mile tempos, 10 mile tempos, and 14-15 mile long runs for 8 months leading into the season. The last time I ran a lap as fast as both of my laps in the 800m was about 9 months ago.

Skip to Tuesday's track workout

Last rep. 350m, go through 200m just under 29 and hold it. Last rep

As we take off my left calf is sore, but that's to be expected, it's been sore since I got back. No speed in my legs.

Pump and stay light, just another worko-FUCKFUCK

It feels like something clamps on my calf and I just hit the ground. Strained it.

Luckily I'm only out 10 days, and swimming is an old friend (or foe, depending on the day) of mine so I should be alright. Should be.

I just finished up a light weight session, 6 days after I strained it and it feels pretty good actually. With any luck, I'll be able to do Thursdays workout (or part of it) and possibly race this weekend. Possibly.

Injuries are a part of running. In the training room, I had a Freshman teammate ask me if I was freaking out because of the time I was missing.

And you know what, 2 years ago I totally would be. But I just had the best training of my life, and 10 days isn't going to do anything to derail that. I AM getting a little worried that my speed won't be there until very late in the season, but that's to be expected.

I think I'll lay off the hills for a month, it definitely played into why my calf busted.

Patience is infuriating at first, but eventually you get used to it. I've waited a year, I can wait 10 days.

Back on Track

Alright, lets get to it.

The training paid off.

8 months of shit I just hated doing - 4 & 10 mile tempos, mile repeats, averaging 65-75 mile weeks in singles, 14-15 mile long runs, all that shit.

Totally paid off.

I was hesitant to post how my progress was going because I was sick the end half of December and the first week of January, and coming back to school we didn't do much to start out aside from what I had been doing (as coach said, NCAAs was 5 months and a week away from the day we got back), so there wasn't anything to say.

California is really nice? I love being back on campus with all my friends?


But, alas, this a running blog. And running was pretty standard (but seriously though, SoCal is fucking nice to train in).

The goal for the season is NCAAs in the 1500m. They changed the 'standards' to make them the Top20 times instead of any sort of mark, so there you go. To make it, just be in the Top 20 in the country.

Let's begin.

We had a rust-busting alumni meet where I ran a solid 900m-ish grass loop, but can't really indicate track fitness.

My REAL opener was at Azuza Pacific last weekend opening up the 1200m leg of the DMR.

I didn't really know what I was capable of, but I thought 3:06 was in the cards if I played it right. I didn't know who else would be there, and based on previous years and times I was guessing I would time trial.

I was wrong, but gratefully so.

The gun went, and I slipped in behind a BIOLA (Bible Institute Of Los Angeles) kid as he took the first 100m out hard

[Side note: I'm Jewish. Bible Institute? #LetsGoJews]

I haven't been acclimated to pace just yet, and I thought we were going out slow, and I was antsy

Go around him, no your stride is light just sit what are we at? 60...61...62..oh thats perfect 62 low just sit just sit

It was just so smooth. We passed the 500m mark and I could feel him slowing down and I tried to go around

Eyes flick back in anger, pace picks up. He wants to fight this out. I'll fight this out

He leads through 800m but considerably slower

2:04...2:05...2:06...2..

We pass in 2:06.high and I just wait around the turn and shift gears with 300m to go and walk away from everyone.

Coming around the turn I just drive

Fuck, I love this shit

Hand off for a 3:08. Not bad, last 300m of 44/45.

That was Saturday.

On Tuesday, I ran a 4.34 mile TT loop that the team has been running since the '80s in 22:46, the #10 time ever on the team. Just out there cruising.

So, ya. I'm in shape.

Am I in shape to run 3:50?

Not yet.

Will I be?

I'm starting to turn from believing I can to knowing I can.