Just fuck it. I just finished a 9.5 miler in 65 minutes. 65??? That's 6:5x pace. I ran that for 20 miles a few weeks ago and now my heart rate was pushing 190 finishing this stupid excuse of a run.
I was dying out there. I was landing on my forefoot like I was in a god damn 800m race. I didn't even know that was possible running fucking 6:50s.
I'm training like I'm aiming to run a 4:35 mile, not a 3:50 1500. I'm sitting here, 5 months away from my first race feeling like I haven't gotten anywhere running 70+ weeks. My legs felt fine, even though I ran 200s yesterday. My chest was destroyed. It felt like a hard tempo run and it was slow as shit.
I stumbled into my house, downed a gatorade, grabbed 3 Fat Tire's and sat in a cold shower, drinking. For half an hour. I looked like something out of Black Swan or some shit.
Fuck this. I wish I were 60 and unable to run so I could watch Olympians and remember those days when you just feel like nothing can stop you, and forget about these fucking days.
After Sunday I'm taking next week at 20 miles MAYBE.
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Easy there killer. There are people who would kill to go that fast- like me. Keep in mind there's always going to be someone slower and someone faster than you
ReplyDeleteIf you are going to run a 20 mile week, run it completely without your watch. You probably know how far runs are now, so all your silly watch is doing is pissing you off. Running watchless to someone like you or me is as close as we can get to complete freedom.
ReplyDeleteSo you're saying you rubbed one out in the shower? Or you tried to drown yourself?
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