Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Nerves

Before my race this weekend, my body was periodically shot with nervous adrenaline as it is before every race.

Thinking about it, what am I nervous about? I feel almost sick. I've had races where I've been FAR too nervous, and it has affected me. After this long, I've gotten pretty good at keeping the nerves at the right level.

But, again, what are the nerves signifying?

It may seem obvious to some, but I had an epiphany of sorts on my warm up. I'm not afraid of the other runners, I'm not afraid I'll let my teammates down, I'm not afraid I'll embarrass myself out there. No, if those things affected me, I wouldn't be where I am.

I'm really afraid of myself.

That after the race, I'll see my time, and it wont be good enough. What if my best just...isn't good enough? It's something I can't accept. I guess that's why I train. Hard.

I didn't have the best race this weekend. I ran a stupid tactical race, making 2 big surges to put myself into position, and when the running started with 300m to go I got left behind, barely dipping under 4:00. I was boxed in, going through 800m just under 2:10. AGAIN.

I digress. What I'm really afraid of is hitting the race perfectly, not making any errors, running as hard as I can...and running a slow time.

I feel as if every race, I am afraid I am not as fit as I think I am, and race to prove that I am every bit as fit as I hope to be.

I still haven't found that race, every one thus far has been a kickers duel (or I was horribly sick). Maybe next week.

38 comments:

  1. I've been thinking a lot about similar things. To me, running is all about being a modern-day hero or warrior or something. I know it's hard to do without competition, but sometimes you just have to put yourself in your own crucible, just take the race out and go for it, with or without anybody else. If you can win kicker's races, try to win without kicking. Be a hero.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wearing fur is great for insulating body heat on long runs and maintaining endurance!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually I heard that using animal SKIN is best for this, more aerodynamic but equally insulating, but that's just how we do it in the DIRRRRTY SOUTH

      Hope this helps,
      KENTUCKY GENTLEMEN

      Delete
  3. Sometimes you just gotta get your dance floor make out on. Love, drunk senior girls(DSGs)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wearing running shoes when running is really good for running.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I find that stuffing myself with pasta really helps calm the nerves before running. Give it a try. Just eat as much pasta as you physically can and then just run. Immediately. Like, right after. Good luck!

    - Brains, Brawn and Beauty

    ReplyDelete
  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Run bare foot! It's good for you!
    - Beer Spies

    ReplyDelete
  9. We love you. We believe in you. And it always helps us to think that we are being chased by aliens.

    - Doctor Jew

    ReplyDelete
  10. I think you are suffering from what has been called Monkey Bomb Withdrawals. You need to consume copious amounts of monkey bombs.

    Lots of love,
    Team OVERDOG

    ReplyDelete
  11. I hear squeezing your nipples while doing sit-ups really helps to Get that blood flowing. Try that before races.
    Love, Smarty Pints

    ReplyDelete
  12. Exercise? Try SEXERCISE! Multitasking at its best! Way more fun than running.

    ReplyDelete
  13. When running, run slower than Pomona-Pitzer runners.

    Looooooooove,
    Salt, Pepper, and Paprika!

    ReplyDelete
  14. You should run a 1000 miles a day to get strong.
    Team Red white and blue

    ReplyDelete
  15. Quinn, nerves are often a symptom of an overzealous energy center. Make sure to center your chi before every race. Try it. I know it sounds silly, but really. There are forces in the universe nobody knows anything about, and they work in miraculous ways when you simply tap into their untouched existence. Close your eyes (make sure to smile!) and envision the track before you. It runs straight as an arrow, then turns, then runs straight for another segment before turning again. JUST LIKE LIFE. The truest path is the straightest one, and I feel in my heart of hearts that you have what it takes to understand the forces that guide interactions between matter, time, and vacuous space. Just feel it and relax. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, I understand you and know you can be the best you can be!

    Much love and cosmic chance and circumstance,

    Walker Walks To Weymouth, Wheeling, and Washington

    ReplyDelete
  16. Have Laura help you with you groin stretches

    Team Beer Pressure/Blackout

    ReplyDelete
  17. I hear the best cure for nerves is running for the hottest team on the 5cs, PPXC.

    Team Just What the Doctor Ordered

    ReplyDelete
  18. remember to stretch before working out my personal favorite hip thrusters they warm you up and the ladies if you know what I mean. by The Dudes.

    ReplyDelete
  19. PRE RACE DOME GETS DUBS

    BABAAR INCARCERATED

    ReplyDelete
  20. Listen, I had a lot of trouble bulking up as a kid: steroids, exercise, cannabalism, I tried it all. The doctor said my hormone regime was probably unhealthy, so I tried something different. Kegels. Straight up Kegels. I know, that shit is only for girls, right? Wrong. It turns out that kegels have been statistically proven to help you run faster, lift harder, and love stranger.

    Yours truly,
    Team Strange

    ReplyDelete
  21. listen to Miley while running!!! It gets the juices flowing!!!

    -Team Beercules

    ReplyDelete
  22. dear dear quinn,

    when your legs are tired lactic acid buildup (hurting So.DAMN.GOOD), stomach roiling in an inflammatory, oh so fluid way, the best trick is to take a leaf out of the venerable Mr. Kinsey's book: tighten, taut-en, STRENGTHEN, those kegels!!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. dear love,

    always douche before running!

    ReplyDelete
  24. yooo bitch dont jerk off b4 runnin itll be hella good

    ReplyDelete
  25. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  26. dearest distance runner,
    make sure you laxative before you star and poop while you run. it makes things more interesting. also: expert tip - douching = pooping = being a cmc-student = adding 10 pts. to your sat. therefore by the transitive property, evey time you poop, you add 10 pts to your sats. i guess cmc students eat a lot of fiber.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Don't shotgun natty pre rice.

    -one z

    ReplyDelete
  28. do a nice warmup. and don't stick your thumb up your asshole. then you'll be running. like a champ. tao fighters.
    p.s. talk to swartz for details

    ReplyDelete
  29. Beer hydrates better than water!!! http://www.backpacker.com/beer_hydrate_water/blogs/1074

    It is essential to stay hydrated!!!

    From,
    PRYMTYM

    ReplyDelete
  30. If you masturbate at least 5 times per day, your mile time will decrease by 47%.

    Love,
    WUKYA

    ReplyDelete
  31. Why don't you try stretching before you run?

    -TOFZZ

    ReplyDelete
  32. I hear it helps to picture everyone naked. And you should stand by the door to a girl's room being very attractive and then have the very attractive girl come up and start hitting on you. That gives you loads of confidence.

    ReplyDelete
  33. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  34. b a hero! great way to lose lbs b4 a race. say whatup to sauvage for me

    ReplyDelete