Gambling with my Body

Workouts and runs the days following the Conference meet had been going poorly. I hit all the times I was supposed to, and run the times I was supposed to, but it was far harder than it should have been.

Only 3 weeks ago what was and felt like 5:30 pace on a grass-laden tempo run, today still is 5:30 pace but feels like 5:00 pace. Base runs at 6:20 pace that previously had my heart beating around 150-160 are now creeping into the 170-180 range.

Then the Regional happened.

The strength of CMS XC is in our depth.

Coach pulls me aside with our #8 runner, who has been running phenomenally.

I am in a dream. He puts his hand on my shoulder and tells me that I had a good run at it, but he can see I’m falling apart. I’m out. Bennett is in. Good season.

It makes sense, really. Bennett and I are fairly comparable runners over 8k XC. This year, I’ve beaten him four times, and he’s beaten me twice. Yet every race, we’re never more than 30 seconds apart, and usually we’re within 15.

I talked earlier about my summer, and how fully committing myself to running by adding another 200 miles to my summer paid off for me.

Well, this is the gamble that I made. A gamble with my body.

Interesting things happen when you run more miles. A lot more miles.

The body oscillates between extreme highs and extreme lows. It’s a phenomenon often called “breaking down.” The body gets torn apart, ripped to pieces, and does everything it can to tell you that what you’re doing to it is hurting it.

However, if you keep pushing the envelope, it shrugs, and begins to find new means of compensation. It makes more mitochondria. It uses lactic acid to close the micro-tears created by incessant pounding in the legs, and redoubles the strength. So that next time it wont hurt so bad.

And you get fast. Real fast.

But this is a gamble, because this extra pushing can cause injury, or burn out.

Or it can just have poor timing.

It’s a wheel of fatigue, half painted red and half painted green. The training spins the wheel, and when it’s on green all systems are firing. You drop your 8k from a 26:59 to a 25:54. You run a 4.35m time trial 80seconds faster than you ever have before. You run 12 x 1000m 6-7 seconds faster than you ever have before.

But the wheel keeps tuning as you keep pushing, never satisfied. Always wanting that much more. That faster time. That better place.

The less you increase your milage, the less discrepancy there is between red and green times, places, etc. Staying the same also means you’re stuck in mediocrity, and god dammit I run to be everything but mediocre.

Then the wheel turns red, and you start to falter. The season is long, and the workouts push the wheel faster and faster. You’re deep in the red now. That same 4.35m time trial is now oddly 40seconds slower. That 8k time starts to creep back up towards times you thought you’d never run again.

And you get 50th at Regionals.

It makes sense, really, what Coach is doing. I’m deep in the red, and Bennett is flying in the green.

What really bothers me, is that in 2-3 weeks, I’ll probably be in the green again.

But by then, Nationals will be over, and my chance will be, is now, and will burn into my memory as -

Gone.